Lydia The Tattooed Lady

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Lydia oh Lydia, say have you met Lydia,
Lydia, the Tattooed Lady.
She - has eyes that folks adore so,
And - a torso even more so.

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Lydia oh Lydia, that encyclopedia,
Oh Lydia the Queen of Tattoo.
On her back is the Battle of Waterloo.
Beside it the wreck of the Hespherous, too.
And proudly above waves the Red, White, and Blue,
You can learn a lot from Lydia.

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When her robe - is unfurled, she will show you the world,
If you step up and tell her where.
For a dime - you can see Kankakee or Paris,
Or Washington crossing the Delaware.

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Oh Lydia oh Lydia, say have you met Lydia,
Oh Lydia the Tattooed Lady
When - her muscles start relaxing,
Up - the hill comes Andrew Jackson

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Lydia oh Lydia, that encyclopedia,
Oh Lydia the queen of them all!
For two bits she will do a mazurka in jazz,
With a view of Niagara that nobody has.
And on a clear day you can see Alcatraz.
You can learn a lot from Lydia.

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Come along - and see - Buff'lo Bill with his lasso.
Just a little classic by Mendel Picasso.
Here is Captain Spaulding exploring the Amazon.
Here's Godiva but with her pajamas on.

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Here is Grover Whalen unveilin' the Trilon.
Over on the West Coast we have Treasure Island.
Here's Najinsky a-doin' the Rumba.
Here's her social security numba.

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Oh Lydia, oh Lydia that encyclopedia,
Oh Lydia the champ of them all.
She once swept an Admiral clear off his feet.
The ships on her hips made his heart skip a beat.
And now the old boy's in command of the fleet,
For he went and married Lydia.